If I were to categorize my (romantic) interactions with women in college, they would fall into two distinct types: those without alcohol and those with. The first kind are usual less the great. Sure, I'm a reasonably funny guy and I guess I can carry a conversation well and know when to flash a winning smile, but make no mistake, every action is well thought out and entirely planned. The second kind are entirely the opposite. I crack jokes, tell stories, laugh, wink, and smile spontaneously and naturally. Its as though I've been given the "killer instinct" otherwise lacking in my sober state. (we will return to this point later)
I have (like countless others) had the near constant misfortune of falling head over heels for someone who is never going to return the sentiment. With one exception, every girl I've told I like has told me she doesn't feel the same way. I've also been on the other side of this problem, being unable to match the affections a girl declared for me, so I know how terrible it feels to let someone down in that way. Now I don't regret these experiences, rather I feel that I've grown a lot because of them, but I am reaching a point where I start to question if these mismatches are owing to a run of bad luck or some internal defect.
As stated before in an earlier post, I am trying to charm a wonderful girl in my Persian class, but the response has been tepid at best and the whole process is moving painfully slow. (Now to bring back the alcohol issue) I have only interacted with this girl sober because I'm not really the partying type and because I like to be fully cognizant when I get to know a person. On the flip side, when I went to the pub for a few drinks with friends, I may have flirted with the waitress a good deal (thought its my general policy to flirt with pretty women). Of course she's somewhat obligated to be nice since she's trying to earn a tip and I never read too much into her behavior, but because I was buzzed, I decided to draw a smiley face on the bill and a little note telling her she was pretty. Thus, after I left the pub, one of my friends texted me, informing me that the waitress asked after me and said I was very nice.
So my question is this: how is it that I can achieve essentially the same results (if not better) by drinking a few beers as I otherwise would through care, patience, and sincere (but sober) romantic effort? Granted it depends a lot on the other person, but I have noticed this trend on more than one occasion. Could it be that alcohol helps me overcome a self-sabotaging character trait?
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